There are so many times where I feel lost in a crowd, in the hustle and bustle of life does anyone really know who I am, what i think and feel. If I am honest the answer will be NO. The reason being is, well I don’t know why, maybe its because I don’t want people to really know me, a barrier, a protection from being hurt, or maybe I don’t want people to really know what I feel and think, especially currently.

This evening I sat in the garden watching the world go by and felt so detached from life. As I was sat there I  was listening to groups heading into town, loving and living life I wished for one day only I could live a different life, one free from worry and pain, one free from people worrying about me or me letting people down.

Don’t get me wrong I am lucky to have an amazing partner, my family and friends who support me through thick and thin, who make me smile and pick me up when there is a need. Yet I still feel lost. Behind the mask, behind my smile is somone but who that someone is me.