#Day7 #Endometriosis #photochallenge2015 @endohappy
The worst thing about #endometriosis, is not about the @pain, you can learn to survive the Pain, the #worst thing is letting those close to me down at the last moment.
This is the one thing I can’t learn to survive is disappointing those closet to me.
#Day7 #endometriosis #photochallenge2015
#Friends, no matter what #endometriosis throws at me these guys are always there to support me
Letter to Family, Friends & Work Colleagues
I am writing to you to introduce you to someone, someone who has invited itself into my life uninvited, however as it is not going to be leaving me soon I think it is only fair that I introduce you formally.
Its name is Endometriosis and it is invisible to the human eye. I know you can’t see it but Endometriosis is an invisible chronic illness even I can’t see it but I know it is there every single day because I can feel it. I don’t like the fact that it has attached itself to me especially as I never invited it into my life. However it is what it is, it is real and it is here to stay in which I will make the best I can out of a bad situation.
I have been living with it officially for 32 months however this it has been with me since my early teens, just biding its time growing slowly over the years. It has now changed my life where there are things that I may no longer be able to do because of it. All I ask from you all is not to be disappointed in me, I want to do these things, be able to live the way I used to, not being able to do what I used to do frustrates me.
Because of chronic illness I have learned to value the important things in life:
Time with my family
Time with my friends
Time with partner
Time with my work colleagues
When I have good days we make the most of these days and spend quality time together, these are the days that remind us of what life used to be like.
The reason I am introducing you to chronic illness today is because I don’t want any misunderstandings between us or your pity I just want your understanding that I will have both good days and bad days, and at times it will feel that bad days over rule the good days. To my amazing partner, Neil, I love and value our relationship and I know you are there for me through thick and thin. When I have my bad days you take what I throw at you and still sit beside me to get me through it when many would walk away. You are my rock, my strength and the most amazing man I have ever met.
I love and value my family, (mum, dad, big sis and my 2 nieces), our relationships have become stronger because of it, I know that even though we are miles apart when I am struggling and having a difficult time your love and strengths makes me fight harder. You all make me smile with you uniqueness and I am so lucky to have you all in my life.
I value my friendships, (Ben and Caleb) through this period of my life I know which friends I can count on who truly support me through both the good and the bad times, who do not judge me or get upset when I have to cancel at short notice, and for this I thank you for this. You both make me smile, pick me up off the floor and support me no matter what, you both play an vital role in my life and without you in my life there would be a great void.
I value my work colleagues (you all know who you are) who each day give me the strength to fight each day, to give my all at work and support me with no questions ask through the difficult days, in which thank you does not seem enough to repay you for your support. No matter how I am feeling each and every one of you at any one time can make me smile and pick me up of the floor during the difficult days without you knowing.
Thank you all for taking the time to read this and for being there for me.
I woke up this morning feeling like I had a very heavy night out, but alas it was not, it was just Endo pain. I felt so drained, tired and someone was pouring hot water in my pelvic area. It was at this point I just wanted to curl up and hide away from the world. As I laid in bed waiting for pain medication to kick in, I pondered on what life used to be like. I remember the days where my weekend was jam packed, living the high life without a care in the world. But now life has changed.
Yesterday I spen time with my partner and friends at the beach, cold as it was, it was fun just to be somewhere different. For a few hours I felt normal, having a laugh and a couple of drinks before returning back home. The plan was to continue the night in town but sadly for me it was not to be.
My partner was driving back when he turned to me and said ‘you are in pain’, all I could do was smile and nod. I knew you were you were too quiet and just staring out of the window he said, take your meds. The pain was slowly creeping into my back and pelvic area, here we go again I thought, fighting back the tears as it continues to throb. I took my medication and hoped it would work enough so we could join the others in town. However this was not the case, no sooner as I took my meds did they come back up. Home it had to be and night out was cancelled.
I texted my friends to cancel meeting up with them and wshed them all a good night. The one thing I hate is letting people down and I always feel like I am doing this. I had let down my friends and partner, luckily thou all are understanding of my condition.