I am a little behind in my blogging for Endometriosis Awareness Month, where my aim was to blog each day about living with Endometriosis and its impact on living with a silent disease. So today I am going to catch up by writing 2 days into 1.
Its very easy to get wrapped up within myself living with endometriosis, as each day is different as no 1 day is the same. However today I want to talk about the other person who plays the most critical part in my life that without him this journey would be so much more difficult. I truly have not met such a remarkable person in my life like Neil.
Neil and I have been together for 41/2 years and it has been a rollercoster of a journey as it was 2yrs into our relationship that I was finally diagnosed with endometriosis, and it is Neil I have to thank for this, his determination and strength to stand up against the hospital doctors to demand that they do something and refuse them to send me home. For this I could never thank him enough.
Everyday he is my rock, he gives me the strength and support to keep fighting even in my dark days with his compassion and what he calls wit and manly charms. Everyday he does all that he can to make my day easier and always does everything to keep me smiling.
Neil is everything anyone could ask for, nothing is much trouble for him and I have never once heard him moan or whinge that our life together has changed so much. He is so supportive and nothing is too much trouble for him, a prime example is this week, he had just finished his night at work on Thursday, came home got changed and headed off to London for Million Women March for Endometriosis and never once moaned or groaned how tired he was, even though I could see he was exhausted.
Through our journey he has never once shied away from what we go through, he is always positive, trying to keep me positive even when I am close to giving in. My one worry is that because he will do anything for everyone and everybody that he will be taken advantage of which is why I try so hard to do what I can for myself and ask for help when I really am struggling.
Neil, you are an amazing person, you do so much for me, much more than you should and for this I want to say a big thank you but also to share with everyone how great you are, I love you with all my heart and always will.
Letter to Family, Friends & Work Colleagues
I am writing to you to introduce you to someone, someone who has invited itself into my life uninvited, however as it is not going to be leaving me soon I think it is only fair that I introduce you formally.
Its name is Endometriosis and it is invisible to the human eye. I know you can’t see it but Endometriosis is an invisible chronic illness even I can’t see it but I know it is there every single day because I can feel it. I don’t like the fact that it has attached itself to me especially as I never invited it into my life. However it is what it is, it is real and it is here to stay in which I will make the best I can out of a bad situation.
I have been living with it officially for 32 months however this it has been with me since my early teens, just biding its time growing slowly over the years. It has now changed my life where there are things that I may no longer be able to do because of it. All I ask from you all is not to be disappointed in me, I want to do these things, be able to live the way I used to, not being able to do what I used to do frustrates me.
Because of chronic illness I have learned to value the important things in life:
Time with my family
Time with my friends
Time with partner
Time with my work colleagues
When I have good days we make the most of these days and spend quality time together, these are the days that remind us of what life used to be like.
The reason I am introducing you to chronic illness today is because I don’t want any misunderstandings between us or your pity I just want your understanding that I will have both good days and bad days, and at times it will feel that bad days over rule the good days. To my amazing partner, Neil, I love and value our relationship and I know you are there for me through thick and thin. When I have my bad days you take what I throw at you and still sit beside me to get me through it when many would walk away. You are my rock, my strength and the most amazing man I have ever met.
I love and value my family, (mum, dad, big sis and my 2 nieces), our relationships have become stronger because of it, I know that even though we are miles apart when I am struggling and having a difficult time your love and strengths makes me fight harder. You all make me smile with you uniqueness and I am so lucky to have you all in my life.
I value my friendships, (Ben and Caleb) through this period of my life I know which friends I can count on who truly support me through both the good and the bad times, who do not judge me or get upset when I have to cancel at short notice, and for this I thank you for this. You both make me smile, pick me up off the floor and support me no matter what, you both play an vital role in my life and without you in my life there would be a great void.
I value my work colleagues (you all know who you are) who each day give me the strength to fight each day, to give my all at work and support me with no questions ask through the difficult days, in which thank you does not seem enough to repay you for your support. No matter how I am feeling each and every one of you at any one time can make me smile and pick me up of the floor during the difficult days without you knowing.
Thank you all for taking the time to read this and for being there for me.
Just a quick note to my partner. Over the last year the different treatments that I have received for Endo has impacted on me in different ways especially with my moods. One minute I am happy go lucky next minute I am evil, a complete bitch and it is my partner is the one that gets it in the neck all the time. At no point has he snapped back or said anything about he, he has just taken this in his stride and this is why he has patience of a saint as there would be many others who would walk away and leave me too it.
I am one lucky women to have a partner who is there for me no matter what. Thank you does not seem enough for what you do for me.
You are unable to fix this or have all the answers, all I need from you is to be there, to hold my hand when I need your strength to be strong, to hold me when I am struggling and to listen to me when I need to rant, this is what makes you my partner, my rock