Currently still in hospital and so far today my emotions have hit an all time high. Day 3 of being in hospital and finally one of the consultant’s team has been to see me to discuss my scan results. Guess who is back bigger and bladder as ever, yes you guessed it ENDOMETRIOSIS. Fantastic news really made my flipping day. As he was talking to me I just couldn’t hold back the tears. 10 months on from surgery where they removed cysts, adhesions, unstuck pelvic organs and burnt out the endometriosis I am back to square one.

What have they found????
The scan has shown 2 cysts about 5cms one on the left pelvis and the other on the right ovary. The cysts are stuck to adhesions which has stuck to my uterus and part of my bowel which is causing narrowing of the bowel.

So where to from here. Surgery is the only option however it is going to be complex and carries significant risks in which surgery options have to be explored and discussed before having surgery. So my only option is to have Prostrap and get the pain under control so I can go home. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. I know there is no cure
and I don’t even know what I wanted the outcome to be. As he was talking me through all this I gave in and cried I just could not control myself and there was noone around me to talk to me.

Feeling Alone
I was devastated of the news, I couldn’t get hold of anyone, my partner was in bed as he is working tonight, dad was working and mum didn’t pick up. I just needed to hear someones voice. Finally mum rang back and as soon as I heard her voice I wept uncontrollably, having to pull myself together to let mum know what was going on was hard, but I few deep breaths I managed to tell her what was happening, where we just talked which was what I needed.

The Joys of Prostrap
I am so not looking forward to this treatment, Prostrap is evil but I suppose my only option. Prostrap is a drug that closes down the hormones in your body causing your body to go through a temporary menopause. This will hopefully stop or minimize the endometriosis growing any more than it is. Ha it didn’t work last time so not holding out much hope. I have to admit I am not looking forward to this, Prostrap is a horrible chemical, hot flushes, night sweats and tremors, mood swings oh what fun.

Our Options
So what next, there is no cure, surgery as you can see is a quick fix, hysterectomy is an option but again its not a cure as Endometriosis will feed off the HRT.
How the hell do I decide on a hysterectomy as I have never had kids, how do I decide this option knowing the impact it will have not only on me but on my partner, it’s not fair on him, Neil does not deserve this nor does he deserve to see me like this. I am in such turmoil I don’t know what to do.

So there it is, another cross road but which path I choose is only going to result in some form of heartbreak……