I woke up this morning feeling like I had a very heavy night out, but alas it was not, it was just Endo pain. I felt so drained, tired and someone was pouring hot water in my pelvic area. It was at this point I just wanted to curl up and hide away from the world. As I laid in bed waiting for pain medication to kick in, I pondered on what life used to be like. I remember the days where my weekend was jam packed, living the high life without a care in the world. But now life has changed.
Yesterday I spen time with my partner and friends at the beach, cold as it was, it was fun just to be somewhere different. For a few hours I felt normal, having a laugh and a couple of drinks before returning back home. The plan was to continue the night in town but sadly for me it was not to be.
My partner was driving back when he turned to me and said ‘you are in pain’, all I could do was smile and nod. I knew you were you were too quiet and just staring out of the window he said, take your meds. The pain was slowly creeping into my back and pelvic area, here we go again I thought, fighting back the tears as it continues to throb. I took my medication and hoped it would work enough so we could join the others in town. However this was not the case, no sooner as I took my meds did they come back up. Home it had to be and night out was cancelled.
I texted my friends to cancel meeting up with them and wshed them all a good night. The one thing I hate is letting people down and I always feel like I am doing this. I had let down my friends and partner, luckily thou all are understanding of my condition.
Boys will be Boys
Endometriosis ~ My Journey 
endohope
Yes, it’s very hard, I share your guilt and sorrow.
There is a bit of a growing resentment from certain people about how often I turn things down or can’t make it, I take it all the chin, because I know they’d rather not know the full extent of how ill I am and why I can’t just turn up and do things even for “just a bit”.
Such is the perverse logic of this illness, I’d rather people thought I was just being stubborn or rude than burden them with the truth. 🙂
Hughffy
I am lucky that I have a group of friends that support me, but I do feel at some point they will get fed up of me letting them down. Hpwever there are times that all I want is a duvet day because I cannot manage anything else. Tonight I was luckly enough to meet a froup of women who know what I feel and go through as they have endo themselves and this has mede me feel less isolated about my condition x